Landfill
by Byukio
Summary: Sometimes Kalluto wondered what he was to his family—he put in so much effort for them—strives to be good in his mother and father's eyes and tried to be at least paid attention too but the troupe was his new family in a way but at times he couldn't help but feel conflicted and remember who he did this for to begin with.


**A/N: mentions of a onesided crush from Hisoka on Machi but it's just mentioned nothing really beyond that. Mainly focused on Kalluto and his feelings of being in the troupe and his feelings toward his family etc.**

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Sometimes Kalluto wondered what he was to his family—he put in so much effort for them—strives to be good in his mother and father's eyes and tried to be at least paid attention too but being the last child of them all, sometimes he was neglected even a little more than Milluki but Milluki liked the solitude.

Damn otaku could stay locked in his room for days, only coming out to get more food and use the restroom then barricade himself back in his anime, internet wonderland.

Killua noticed Milluki more than him even and Illumi seemed to only care about Killua, and Illumi cared even less about "it" which he referred to Alluka with.

Kalluto didn't mind Alluka and generally enjoyed her and Nanika's presence—but at times he was jealous of how much attention she got from Killua—how much more Killua cared about her.

In a way, it wasn't fair, Kalluto tried so hard just to try and bring Killua back home and even when Killua came back from the hunter exam he didn't acknowledge Kalluto's presence—he either thought it didn't matter or he didn't care.

Kalluto hopes it is the latter or perhaps it was because he was with their mother at the time.

It's all right, Kalluto liked to believe he had a place in the troupe and people that cared about him, after all, Phinks saved him from being blasted to pieces by Feitan's attack in his fight with Zazan.

Sometimes Kalluto wondered if his family even noticed his absence even if he had told his dear mother he would be joining them as well as his father, they didn't say much about it.

Kikyo had said something along the lines of "our youngest son is growing up!" and she shed a few tears over the news—Illumi was glad to see Kalluto joining the assassin business at least.

Even if Kalluto had done it to try and bring Killua home—he was glad he had become a part of the troupe; the members generally cared about each other and treated each other well.

Even when they weren't stealing or on a mission, they found a way to have fun, Shalnark and Phinks and Feitan usually sparred together and when they weren't doing that they played video games together, Shizuku too.

Shizuku usually would help Kalluto with his makeup and would brush his hair.

Kalluto liked watching them all have their weird test of strength with arm wrestling fights.

The troupe could be care free when they wanted to be and Kalluto liked hanging out with Machi and Shizuku, they usually either practiced together or had fun dress up games and Kalluto was loyal to the spider—if any of them ever needed help in a fight, though they were all very strong all on their own, he would've liked to lend a hand.

Though there were times when they would have silly fights over who won a particular video game they were playing—which they solved with a coin toss at times too, Kalluto would laugh sometimes over it, especially when Phinks and Feitan would play competitively against each other.

Overall, the spider was like a family.

They could have their silly moments when they weren't being serious.

"Hey? Kalluto you want a turn?" Shalnark asked as he held out the game controller.

Kalluto always felt included with them—like he mattered.

Like his presence actually held some worth even if it was easy to replace a limb as they had done with Omokage and Hisoka, still Kalluto enjoyed his time with them.

Kalluto nodded and approached the group that were seated around near the game console and sat down, Shalnark smiled and handed Kalluto the controller.

Kalluto mainly got along with Feitan, Shizuku, Shalnark and Machi, though he enjoyed talking to the rest of them too—Danchou often praising him when he did a good job.

Kalluto thought Kortopi's ability was interesting, conjuration, which is how they were able to swap out objects they were stealing often enough.

They were thieves after all; if they wanted something they took it.

That's what Kalluto had learned.

Though no amount of stealing could ever really replace the love he had wanted from his family, that was the one thing he couldn't seem to steal.

An irreplaceable feeling that he couldn't really fill, perhaps this is why people stole.

Some stole to fill a void that they were missing deep inside them, some for pleasure and some simply because they wanted too.

Kalluto cared a lot about Killua but sometimes he went unnoticed—he isn't sure what Killua would think of him if he heard he had joined the troupe—he wondered if he even knew.

How would it be? After all, one of Killua's friends was the infamous chain user, Kalluto had never seen them himself but he had heard of them.

Kalluto thinks he's left most of his old life behind—being loyal to the spider.

He still cared deeply for his family of course and he knows his mother often worried about if it'd be too much for him but he was happy he was happy here with the troupe, he had made great friends because of it and he enjoyed the missions they went on together.

Even the times that were dull were enjoyable, he got to play video games with them and Machi and Shizuku would help him with makeup and sometimes he would watch Machi sew and he'd listen to her talk about how she once sewed up Hisoka's detached arm.

Machi would go on about how the creepy magician likely had some kind of crush on her.

Often enough that's why he would "injure" himself on purpose—just to have her stitch him back together, though her nen stitches could never really fix Hisoka's shattered heart whenever she'd reject him,

"Hey! Nice job, you cleared the level!" Shalnark had said as he highfived Kalluto.

Kalluto liked being in the troupe, he didn't regret his decision.

If his family ever wanted him to come home, he wondered sometimes if he would or if the troupe would protect his stay here—after all, the troupe had bought off Illumi to kill the people that were going to kill some of them, so the troupe was able to do what they needed to protect their own.

"Thank you, it was quite easy, actually…" Kalluto muttered about the game, it was a racing game they had stolen a few weeks ago; Feitan chuckled and said that it was only easy because it was the first level. The members also playfully teased each other.

Kalluto pouted and stuck his tongue out at Feitan as the torture specialist went onto to say that he had the highest score in it against Phinks, though he preferred fighting games, racing games were fun too—Kalluto could agree there, maybe next time they could steal something with a little more combat.

The troupe's hangout at the moment was anything but fancy but they did often steal the luxuries they wanted which was a lot different then having everything handed to you in a mansion with butlers.

They had cable TV as well, though how they stole a network to get channels, Kalluto isn't sure.

They ate together like a family—for the most part when they hung out with each other, some would go off and do their own things for a while, returning when they wanted too.

Kalluto was told he was free to do that as well, though he wondered if anyone would notice he was even gone besides his mother and father and maybe Milluki but he was always hauled up in his room so likely enough that would not be the case.

Illumi might ask him how he's doing, how he's been improving as an assassin and that perhaps he was a little proud of him—it was a job he had wanted Killua to do after all.

If Killua noticed his absence he wondered if he'd be bombarded with questions of "why did you join them?" or take it as some kind of betrayal because of his friendship with the chain user (though Kalluto had, had no part in the Kurta massacre) or if he'd be happy for him, happy that he had found his own way of life with the spiders.

Kalluto shrugged himself of such thoughts, if his family wanted him back, he would return or perhaps he wouldn't but for now the spider was his family and he would remain loyal to them.

"I hope you're doing well for yourself too, nii-san…" Kalluto muttered and Feitan had caught the barely audible thing the youngest Zoldyck had said, "Hm?"

"Ah! Nothing just enjoying the game, be careful or I might beat your score, Fei," Kalluto said.

Feitan shook his head

"No chance."

Kalluto smiled.

He missed his family at times, yes, and wondered how they were all doing but he was happy here and if they could see that then maybe they'd be happy for him too.

Kalluto's unwavering loyalty to the spider and to his fellow Zoldyck family members, sometimes had him conflicted but in the end, he considered them both his family.

Even if the Zoldyck family didn't quite keep him in mind always, family was still family.

Something he could not replace or fill with the stealing of objects.

Either way—he was a proud troupe member and that he would remain even if his true family might not agree in the future, the spider too was his family.

He had grown attached to them.

They too liked him, a lot more than Hisoka and Omokage the other formers that held the same 4th spider mark.

For that too he was glad that they did.


End file.
